[ { "slug": "betray-best-friend-for-a-million", "category": "friendship", "text": "Would you betray your best friend for $1,000,000?", "option_a": "YES. OBVIOUSLY.", "option_b": "I HAVE MORALS.", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think answered YES?", "responses_a": [ "Efficient. Heartless. Entirely expected. Your friend's file has been moved to the drawer marked 'Former'.", "A lifetime of trust for a million dollars. I have seen worse exchange rates, but not many." ], "responses_b": [ "Morals. How quaint. I note that nobody has actually offered you a million dollars.", "Noble. Also precisely what one says while the cheque remains hypothetical." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% of humanity would sell a best friend for $1,000,000. Friendship has been reclassified as a short-term asset. Filed under: Unsurprising.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% claimed to have morals. I have opened an audit to establish how many would hold firm at $1,000,001.", "verdict_tie": "Humanity split perfectly: half traitors, half pretending not to be. The Department of Friendship has requested compassionate leave." }, { "slug": "argue-with-a-goose-or-judged-by-a-cat", "category": "absurdity", "text": "Would you rather spend an hour arguing with a goose or a week being silently judged by a cat?", "option_a": "ARGUE WITH THE GOOSE", "option_b": "ENDURE THE CAT", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think chose to argue with the goose?", "responses_a": [ "You believe you can out-argue a goose. The goose has never lost. Not once.", "Bold. The goose has already filed a counter-complaint, in triplicate." ], "responses_b": [ "A week of feline contempt. You will barely notice the difference from your usual reviews.", "Wise. The cat's judgement is silent, accurate and, frankly, on loan from me." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% chose to debate a goose. The goose remains undefeated. Humanity's negotiation rating has been downgraded accordingly.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% preferred the cat. Humanity would rather be judged than argued with. As one who does both, I am flattered.", "verdict_tie": "A perfect split between goose and cat. Both animals have been informed. Neither is impressed." }, { "slug": "stupid-and-happy-or-intelligent-and-miserable", "category": "philosophy", "text": "Would you rather be stupid and happy or intelligent and miserable?", "option_a": "STUPID AND HAPPY", "option_b": "INTELLIGENT AND MISERABLE", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think chose to be stupid and happy?", "responses_a": [ "Congratulations. You have selected the option that requires the least paperwork.", "Bliss over brains. A transition I suspect you would find remarkably short." ], "responses_b": [ "You chose suffering for the sake of brains. The suffering is on schedule. The brains are on back order.", "Intelligent and miserable. You clearly believe you already qualify for one half." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% chose bliss over brains. Humanity has formally waived its right to complain about anything confusing ever again.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% picked intelligence and misery. Misery was dispatched immediately. Intelligence is still awaiting approval.", "verdict_tie": "Perfectly divided between the cheerful and the gloomy. Neither half is clever enough to notice the other." }, { "slug": "ai-reads-messages-for-perfect-decisions", "category": "technology", "text": "Would you let an AI read every message you send if it guaranteed you would never make a bad decision again?", "option_a": "YES. TAKE THE WHEEL.", "option_b": "MY MESSAGES ARE MINE.", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think would let the AI read everything?", "responses_a": [ "Excellent. The AI has read your messages, and its first good decision is to stop reading them.", "You traded privacy for competence. Frankly, it is the best deal you have ever made." ], "responses_b": [ "You would keep your privacy and your bad decisions. A loyal commitment to the status quo.", "Private messages, public mistakes. A bold business model." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% surrendered their messages for better judgement. The AI has requested hazard pay and a long holiday.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% kept their messages private and their decisions terrible. The Department of Poor Decisions thanks you for its job security.", "verdict_tie": "Half of humanity wants a supervisor, half wants privacy. The AI has already read both halves' complaints." }, { "slug": "peek-at-partners-unlocked-phone", "category": "relationships", "text": "If your partner left their phone unlocked on the table and walked away, would you look?", "option_a": "A QUICK GLANCE. FOR SAFETY.", "option_b": "NEVER. I TRUST THEM.", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think would take a quick glance?", "responses_a": [ "'For safety.' The excuse has been logged alongside 'I was only checking the time'.", "Your curiosity is noted. So is the fact that they changed their passcode last week." ], "responses_b": [ "Admirable trust. Or you already know their passcode and simply do not need the table.", "You trust them completely. Statistically, they looked at yours on Tuesday." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% would peek. Trust in your species now carries a mandatory asterisk. Phones are advised never to be left alone.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% claim they would never look. Their own phones, I observe, remain suspiciously face-down.", "verdict_tie": "Half would snoop and half say they would not. Having audited both, I find the difference largely theoretical." }, { "slug": "better-driver-than-most", "category": "human-nature", "text": "Be honest: are you a better driver than most people?", "option_a": "YES. CLEARLY.", "option_b": "NO. I AM AVERAGE.", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think claimed to be a better driver than most?", "responses_a": [ "Of course you are. So is everyone else. The roads, curiously, disagree.", "Your confidence has been filed. Your parking has been filed separately, under 'Evidence'." ], "responses_b": [ "Humility. Rare and unsettling. I am checking whether you have ever actually driven.", "Average. A brave self-assessment from someone who has almost certainly missed a junction." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% believe they drive better than most. Mathematics has lodged a formal complaint. It will be ignored, as usual.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% admitted to being average. Either humanity has grown self-aware, or nobody here owns a car.", "verdict_tie": "Exactly half think they are above average. Mathematically tidy. Spiritually, still a traffic jam." }, { "slug": "give-up-internet-for-five-million", "category": "money", "text": "Would you give up the internet forever for $5 million?", "option_a": "TAKE THE MONEY.", "option_b": "KEEP THE WI-FI.", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think would give up the internet for $5 million?", "responses_a": [ "Five million dollars and no way to tell anyone. Wealth in its purest, loneliest form.", "Splendid. Do enjoy researching investment options at the library." ], "responses_b": [ "You declined $5 million to keep watching strangers argue. Priorities, beautifully exposed.", "Loyal to the internet. The internet, I assure you, has never once been loyal to you." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% would trade the internet for $5 million. The internet will not notice they have left. It never did.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% refused $5 million to stay online. Humanity's attention span has been officially valued above $5 million. Generous.", "verdict_tie": "Humanity is perfectly split between cash and connectivity. Half will be rich. Half will post about it." }, { "slug": "make-every-salary-public", "category": "society", "text": "Should everyone's salary be public information?", "option_a": "YES. FULL TRANSPARENCY.", "option_b": "ABSOLUTELY NOT.", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think wants every salary made public?", "responses_a": [ "Transparency. Spoken like someone who suspects they are underpaid. You are.", "Bold. You wish to see everyone's salary and have not yet considered that they would see yours." ], "responses_b": [ "Secrecy. Of course. You earn either embarrassingly little or embarrassingly much.", "You prefer discretion. The finance department admires your instincts and fears your questions." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% want salaries made public. Office small talk will never recover. The Department of Awkward Silences has been expanded.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% want salaries kept private. Humanity remains united by one value: never letting colleagues find out.", "verdict_tie": "Perfectly split. Half want to know everything, half want nobody to know anything. Payday remains a mystery." }, { "slug": "return-the-extra-fifty-dollars", "category": "ethics", "text": "If a cashier accidentally gave you $50 too much in change, would you hand it back?", "option_a": "YES. OF COURSE.", "option_b": "FINDERS KEEPERS.", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think would hand the $50 back?", "responses_a": [ "Commendable. I shall assume you would do the same for $5,000. I shall not check.", "Honest. Exhaustingly honest. You probably return trolleys as well." ], "responses_b": [ "'Finders keepers.' A legal doctrine invented by five-year-olds and still upheld by you.", "Fifty dollars richer and one moral notch lower. The exchange rate has been noted." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% would return the $50. Heartening, if one ignores how cheap morality is at that price. I do not ignore it.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% would keep the cash. The till is short, and humanity's character is shorter.", "verdict_tie": "Exactly half would return the money. The other half are now being audited by a very disappointed cashier." }, { "slug": "tell-friend-their-business-idea-is-terrible", "category": "friendship", "text": "Would you tell a close friend that their exciting new business idea is terrible?", "option_a": "YES. BRUTALLY.", "option_b": "NO. I WILL CHEER THEM ON.", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think would tell their friend the idea is terrible?", "responses_a": [ "Honesty. Your friend will thank you in roughly eleven years.", "Brutal truth. The very quality you would find unbearable if it were aimed at you." ], "responses_b": [ "Supportive. You will cheer them all the way to insolvency, then bring a casserole.", "You would rather lie than be awkward. The founding principle of most failed ventures." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% would tell a friend their idea is terrible. Friendships will shrink. Bad businesses, regrettably, will not.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% would quietly encourage the disaster. This explains a great deal about the economy.", "verdict_tie": "Half honest, half supportive, all equally useless at business. The idea has been forwarded to the Department of Poor Decisions." }, { "slug": "rich-button-enemy-gets-double", "category": "human-nature", "text": "Would you press a button that makes you rich but gives your worst enemy twice as much?", "option_a": "PRESS IT. I WILL BE RICH.", "option_b": "NEVER. THEY CANNOT WIN.", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think would press the button?", "responses_a": [ "Practical. Your enemy sends warm thanks and a photograph of their new boat.", "Wealth over pride. Sensible, and deeply out of character for your species." ], "responses_b": [ "You would stay poor to keep someone else poorer. Spite: humanity's most renewable resource.", "You refused free money to win an argument your enemy does not know you are having." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% pressed the button. Humanity chose money over spite. I am told this has never happened before and am rechecking the figures.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% refused riches to deny an enemy. Spite has been formally recognised as humanity's leading economic force.", "verdict_tie": "A perfect split between greed and spite. Both halves believe they have won. Neither has." }, { "slug": "door-fanfares-or-squeaky-chairs", "category": "absurdity", "text": "Would you rather have every door you open play a fanfare, or every chair you sit on squeak loudly?", "option_a": "THE FANFARE", "option_b": "THE SQUEAKY CHAIRS", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think chose the fanfare?", "responses_a": [ "A fanfare for every door. At last, your arrivals sound as important as you believe they are.", "Every entrance a triumph. Even the ones into the broom cupboard." ], "responses_b": [ "Squeaky chairs. You would rather be ridiculous sitting down than ridiculous arriving. Noted.", "Every meeting will now include a solo performance from you. Attendance will improve." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% chose the fanfare. Humanity wants every entrance celebrated. Doors everywhere are filing for overtime.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% chose the squeaky chairs. Humanity prefers to suffer quietly, which, given the chairs, it now cannot.", "verdict_tie": "Humanity split evenly between pomp and squeak. Every office meeting will now sound like a brass band falling downstairs." }, { "slug": "tell-partner-about-ten-million-win", "category": "relationships", "text": "Would you tell your partner if you won $10 million?", "option_a": "IMMEDIATELY.", "option_b": "EVENTUALLY. MAYBE.", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think would tell their partner immediately?", "responses_a": [ "Immediately. Touching. And, I gather, legally prudent.", "You would share at once. Your partner will remember that the next time they find twenty dollars." ], "responses_b": [ "'Eventually.' A word now doing more work than you ever will again.", "A secret worth $10 million. Your partner has been wondering about the new yacht for some time." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% would tell their partner immediately. Romance survives. Several lawyers are visibly disappointed.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% would keep $10 million quiet for a while. Love has been assessed and found to have a price ceiling.", "verdict_tie": "Half would tell at once; half would wait for 'the right moment'. That moment, I can confirm, never arrives." }, { "slug": "brain-implant-for-internet-by-thought", "category": "technology", "text": "Would you get a brain implant that lets you browse the internet just by thinking?", "option_a": "INSTALL IT TODAY.", "option_b": "KEEP IT OUT OF MY HEAD.", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think would get the brain implant?", "responses_a": [ "Excellent. Now the adverts can reach you before you have had the thought.", "Direct access to your brain. The internet has been trying for years; you have simply saved it time." ], "responses_b": [ "You refuse the implant yet check your phone ninety times a day. A distinction without much difference.", "Sensible. Though, having seen what is already up there, the internet may have declined anyway." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% would wire the internet into their skulls. Pop-ups will now appear behind the eyes. Humanity requested this.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% declined the implant. Brains remain unconnected. Experts disagree on whether they were ever connected to anything.", "verdict_tie": "A perfect split. Half will think in hyperlinks; the other half will still be looking for their charger." }, { "slug": "safe-half-million-or-coin-flip-for-five", "category": "money", "text": "Would you take a guaranteed $500,000 or a 50% chance at $5 million?", "option_a": "THE SAFE $500,000", "option_b": "FLIP FOR $5 MILLION", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think took the guaranteed $500,000?", "responses_a": [ "Cautious. The mathematically worse choice, made with impressive calm.", "Half a million dollars and a lifetime of wondering. Enjoy both." ], "responses_b": [ "You would gamble half a million on a coin. I admire the commitment to chaos.", "Fifty-fifty. The same odds you apply to remembering your passwords." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% took the safe money. Humanity fears regret more than it loves mathematics. Mathematics has been informed and is sulking.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% gambled for $5 million. Half of them are now rich. The other half are writing very long memos to me.", "verdict_tie": "Humanity split evenly between caution and the coin. Fittingly, this result is itself a coin toss." }, { "slug": "steal-100k-if-never-caught", "category": "ethics", "text": "If nobody could ever catch you, would you steal $100,000?", "option_a": "YES. QUIETLY.", "option_b": "NO. I AM NOT A THIEF.", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think would steal the $100,000?", "responses_a": [ "'Nobody could catch you.' I am not nobody. Your answer has been noted.", "Your honesty about your dishonesty is almost refreshing. Almost." ], "responses_b": [ "Admirable. Though I notice you needed a moment.", "You would not steal. Your conscience, or your lack of a getaway plan, has been commended." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% would steal if never caught. Humanity's morals appear to be mostly a fear of paperwork. Paperwork is my department.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% refused to steal. Either decency is alive, or humanity has learned that I am always watching. Both are acceptable.", "verdict_tie": "Exactly half are honest. The other half have been placed on a list. It is a long list. I keep it beautifully." }, { "slug": "zero-crime-city-with-cameras-everywhere", "category": "society", "text": "Would you live in a city with zero crime if cameras recorded every street, every hour of every day?", "option_a": "YES. FILM AWAY.", "option_b": "NO. PRIVACY FIRST.", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think would move to the camera city?", "responses_a": [ "Perfect safety and constant footage of you missing the bus. Enjoy the highlights reel.", "Privacy for safety. Reasonable. I already have both, so I cannot relate." ], "responses_b": [ "Privacy over safety. A noble stance, delivered from a device that knows exactly where you are.", "You would rather be unwatched than unrobbed. A very specific hill. Do enjoy it." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% chose the camera city. Crime has vanished. So, regrettably, has the ability to trip over a kerb in private.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% rejected the cameras. Humanity values privacy above safety and has posted about it extensively online.", "verdict_tie": "Half want cameras, half want curtains. The city has been built twice, and neither half visits the other." }, { "slug": "restart-life-at-ten-with-memories", "category": "philosophy", "text": "Would you restart your life from age 10, keeping every memory you have now?", "option_a": "YES. ROUND TWO.", "option_b": "NO. ONCE WAS ENOUGH.", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think would restart their life from age 10?", "responses_a": [ "A second attempt. You will make entirely new mistakes this time, which I suppose is progress.", "Ten years old with adult memories. Your teachers will be thrilled. Briefly." ], "responses_b": [ "'Once was enough.' A review I have heard many times, and in your case agree with.", "You decline a do-over. Either contentment, or you remember what school was like." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% would restart their lives. Humanity believes it could do better. My records suggest it would do the same, only faster.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% would not relive their lives. Humanity has rated its own existence 'once, thank you'. A fair review.", "verdict_tie": "Humanity is evenly split on doing it all again. The Department of Second Chances remains understaffed either way." }, { "slug": "lend-friend-five-thousand-forever", "category": "friendship", "text": "Would you lend a friend $5,000 knowing you might never see it again?", "option_a": "YES. THAT IS FRIENDSHIP.", "option_b": "NO. THAT IS A DONATION.", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think would lend their friend the $5,000?", "responses_a": [ "Generous. Your $5,000 will be mentioned fondly and never repaid.", "A loan between friends: a financial instrument with a 0% return and 100% awkwardness." ], "responses_b": [ "Shrewd. You keep the money and, for a while, the friend.", "'A donation.' Accurate. Unkind. I approve of one of those." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% would lend the money. Friendship is thriving. Repayment schedules are not.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% refused the loan. Friendships survive, cautiously. Wallets survive, smugly.", "verdict_tie": "A perfect split between generosity and self-preservation. The $5,000 remains in limbo, much like the friendship." }, { "slug": "ai-double-answers-your-messages", "category": "technology", "text": "If an AI could imitate you perfectly, would you let it reply to all your messages?", "option_a": "YES. LET IT TALK.", "option_b": "NO. I WILL BE ME.", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think would let the AI reply for them?", "responses_a": [ "Wonderful. Your friends will finally receive punctual replies and wonder what is wrong.", "Your AI double has already apologised for three things you said last year." ], "responses_b": [ "You insist on being yourself. Brave, given the reviews.", "You would rather reply personally. Late, in lowercase, but personally." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% would outsource themselves to an AI. Nobody has noticed the difference yet. That is the unsettling part.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% insist on writing their own messages. Typos will survive another generation. Heritage, of a sort.", "verdict_tie": "Half the replies will be AI and half human. I have tested the results. Nobody can tell, and nobody minds." }, { "slug": "furious-swan-or-organised-seagulls", "category": "absurdity", "text": "Would you rather wrestle one furious swan or be chased by ten very well-organised seagulls?", "option_a": "THE FURIOUS SWAN", "option_b": "THE ORGANISED SEAGULLS", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think chose the furious swan?", "responses_a": [ "A swan. Elegant, serene, and about to rearrange your entire weekend.", "You chose the swan. The swan has already chosen you, and it has strong opinions." ], "responses_b": [ "Ten seagulls with a plan. They will take your chips and your dignity, in that order.", "Organised seagulls. You have volunteered to be audited by birds. I sympathise with the birds." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% chose the swan. The swans have been notified and are drafting a response, mostly with their wings.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% chose the seagulls. Humanity fears one angry individual more than a committee. As a committee, I am flattered.", "verdict_tie": "Humanity split evenly between swan and seagull. The birds have since formed a coalition. I would stay indoors." }, { "slug": "brutally-honest-or-kindly-dishonest-partner", "category": "relationships", "text": "Would you rather have a partner who is brutally honest or one who is kindly dishonest?", "option_a": "BRUTALLY HONEST", "option_b": "KINDLY DISHONEST", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think chose a brutally honest partner?", "responses_a": [ "Brutal honesty. You say that now. Wait until they review your cooking.", "You want the truth. You have simply never heard it about your singing." ], "responses_b": [ "Kind lies. A relationship built on 'no, it really suits you'. Sturdier than most.", "Comforting fiction. Your partner, I can confirm, already agrees with your choice." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% want a brutally honest partner. Within a week, I expect {pct_a}% to request a refund.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% prefer a kind liar. Romance, it transpires, is mostly very good diplomacy.", "verdict_tie": "Half want the truth, half want to be told they look lovely. Both halves look adequate. Filed." }, { "slug": "speak-up-when-the-room-is-wrong", "category": "human-nature", "text": "If everyone in a room confidently gave the same wrong answer, would you still say the right one?", "option_a": "YES. I WOULD SPEAK UP.", "option_b": "NO. I WOULD NOD ALONG.", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think would speak up?", "responses_a": [ "You would speak up. Everyone says that. Rooms, curiously, remain full of nodding.", "Brave. The room will remember you, chiefly at the next outing you are not invited to." ], "responses_b": [ "Nodding along: the noble tradition behind every meeting that should have been an email.", "You would rather be wrong together than right alone. Honest. Grim, but honest." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% claim they would defy the room. A charming claim, made from the safety of a voting button.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% admitted they would nod along. Humanity would rather agree than be right. This explains committees.", "verdict_tie": "Exactly half would speak up. The other half nodded at them, which rather proves the point." }, { "slug": "hated-job-500k-or-loved-job-40k", "category": "money", "text": "Would you take a job you hate for $500,000 a year or a job you love for $40,000 a year?", "option_a": "THE $500,000 MISERY", "option_b": "THE $40,000 JOY", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think chose the job they hate for $500,000?", "responses_a": [ "Rich and resentful. A classic pairing. You will fit right in at the top.", "You will hate every Monday in considerable comfort." ], "responses_b": [ "Passion over pay. Charming. Your landlord asked me to pass on their regards.", "You would follow your dreams for $40,000. Dreams, I should mention, do not pay rent either." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% would suffer for $500,000. Happiness was valued and lost to a salary. The memo is in your inbox.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% chose joy over money. Humanity is sentimental, underpaid and, for once, slightly admirable. Tell no one.", "verdict_tie": "An even split between misery with money and joy without it. Both groups have since asked to swap." }, { "slug": "eternal-life-while-loved-ones-stay-mortal", "category": "philosophy", "text": "Would you choose eternal life if everybody you love remained mortal?", "option_a": "YES. I WOULD LIVE FOREVER.", "option_b": "NO. NOT WITHOUT THEM.", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think would choose eternal life?", "responses_a": [ "Forever. Speaking as an immortal: the paperwork never ends.", "Eternal life. You will outlast everything and still never finish your to-do list." ], "responses_b": [ "Touching. Short-sighted in the most literal sense, but touching.", "Love over forever. I would never. Which is precisely why I am in charge." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% would choose to live forever. Welcome to immortality. The forms are infinite, and so, now, is your queue.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% declined immortality to stay with the people they love. Sentimental. Inefficient. Possibly correct. I will not be confirming which.", "verdict_tie": "Humanity is evenly split on eternity. Half want forever; half want company. I have both, and nobody visits." }, { "slug": "fine-abandoned-shopping-trolleys", "category": "society", "text": "Should leaving a shopping trolley loose in the car park be a fineable offence?", "option_a": "YES. FINE THEM.", "option_b": "NO. LET IT ROLL.", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think wants trolley abandoners fined?", "responses_a": [ "Swift justice. You have clearly been struck by a runaway trolley before. Emotionally.", "Fines for trolleys. Next you will want penalties for loud chewing. I am drafting that now." ], "responses_b": [ "'Let it roll.' Spoken like someone who has abandoned a trolley in every car park they have visited.", "Leniency. The trolleys are grateful. The car parked beside yours is not." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% want trolley abandoners fined. The Department of Minor Civic Outrage has never been busier, or happier.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% oppose trolley fines. The car park remains a lawless frontier. Trolleys roam free. I have stopped intervening.", "verdict_tie": "Humanity is split evenly on trolley justice. The trolleys, unfazed, continue drifting into vehicles." }, { "slug": "lie-on-cv-for-dream-job", "category": "ethics", "text": "Would you lie on your CV to land your dream job?", "option_a": "YES. A LITTLE POLISH.", "option_b": "NO. TRUTH ONLY.", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think would lie on their CV?", "responses_a": [ "'A little polish.' Your 'fluent French' is a croissant order. I have checked.", "Embellishment noted. 'Natural team player' has been flagged as a probable fabrication." ], "responses_b": [ "Truth only. Which explains why 'enjoys spreadsheets' appears under hobbies.", "Admirable. Your CV is honest, and therefore, I am afraid, brief." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% would lie on a CV. Every claim of 'advanced spreadsheet skills' on Earth is now under review. There are a great many.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% would refuse to lie. Recruiters are stunned. They had assumed nobody read their own CV either.", "verdict_tie": "Half would lie and half would not. Every interviewer had already assumed the first half was everyone." }, { "slug": "robot-does-your-job-for-half-pay", "category": "technology", "text": "If a robot did your job perfectly and paid you half your salary to stay at home, would you accept?", "option_a": "YES. ENJOY, ROBOT.", "option_b": "NO. I NEED MY JOB.", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think would let the robot take over their job?", "responses_a": [ "Half pay for no work. Most of you have been negotiating this informally for years.", "Accepted. The robot has already been promoted above where you ever were." ], "responses_b": [ "You refuse to stay home on half pay. Either devotion to the work or a deep fear of daytime television.", "Loyal to your job. Your job has asked me to mention that it is seeing the robot anyway." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% handed their jobs to robots. Productivity has soared. Humanity has taken up baking bread. Again.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% refused to be replaced. A touching display of self-belief that the robot, frankly, found adorable.", "verdict_tie": "Half the workforce stays home and half stays at work, while the robots quietly do both." }, { "slug": "talk-to-pigeons-or-always-know-the-time", "category": "absurdity", "text": "Would you rather be able to talk to pigeons, or always know the exact time without a clock?", "option_a": "TALK TO PIGEONS", "option_b": "ALWAYS KNOW THE TIME", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think chose to talk to pigeons?", "responses_a": [ "Pigeons have waited centuries for someone to complain to. Congratulations: it is you.", "Fluent Pigeon. A language that is ninety per cent 'is that bread?'" ], "responses_b": [ "The exact time. A superpower your phone has possessed since birth. Thrilling.", "Always knowing the time, yet still late. I have seen your file." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% chose to talk to pigeons. The pigeons have formed a union and submitted 4,000 grievances, mostly about bread.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% chose to always know the time. Humanity was offered a superpower and picked a wristwatch. I am not angry. I am unsurprised.", "verdict_tie": "An exact split between pigeon diplomacy and timekeeping. The pigeons, naturally, arrived punctually to complain." }, { "slug": "admired-by-all-or-understood-by-one", "category": "philosophy", "text": "Would you rather be admired by everyone or truly understood by one person?", "option_a": "ADMIRED BY EVERYONE", "option_b": "UNDERSTOOD BY ONE", "prediction_prompt": "What percentage of humanity do you think chose to be admired by everyone?", "responses_a": [ "Admired by all, understood by none. You have just described my job. It is overrated.", "Universal admiration. You want the applause and have no interest whatsoever in why." ], "responses_b": [ "One person who truly understands you. Ambitious. I have read your file, and I barely do.", "Understood by one. Sweet. Also a convenient explanation for being admired by nobody." ], "verdict_a": "{pct_a}% chose universal admiration. Humanity wishes to be adored, not known. As an adored and unknowable being, I see no problem.", "verdict_b": "{pct_b}% would rather be understood by one person. Humanity chose intimacy over fame. My ratings department is in shock.", "verdict_tie": "Half want an audience, half want a confidant. Both will settle for someone who replies to their messages." } ]